Stay at Home Crazy: Mom Reflection
Recently sickness has swept through our house. First Daddy then our 3 year old followed by little brother then Mama brought it up to a crippling finishing end.. literally. (thanks Daddy for taking care of us <3) . Our poor girl had to stay home from nursery school for three days. Doesn’t sound like much but let me assure you, this Mom was teetering on crazy aka cray cray aka loony.
Being inside our house all week, not leaving with my sicky 3 year old and 1 year old really tested my sanity level for sure. Craazzy! Crazy can be defined as demented or insane. It is also defined as intensely enthusiastic and passionately excited. Of course that word can hold different meanings for different people. I’ve heard numerous times by my working mom friends and family say “oh I’d go crazy” or “I don’t know how you do it”. Speaking from a chosen stay at home mom position I have to avoid the “kooky” the “bonkers” the two things that obviously tip the crazy factor is the lack of social interaction and the isolation aspect.
I traded my 50 hr work hard to impress, cute (missed) business attire, commuting (not missed), and after work cocktails for a two little cute monsters that I happily call my own. I remember before kids I couldn’t wait for friday, TGIF right?! Oh yes, that invigorating feeling! What is our friday night plan? Where should we go? What should we do for the weekend? Dinner? Drinks? Weekend away? Oh the possibilities were endless! We were FREE to do what WE wanted. Puh! Not anymore! The reality is being at home all the time with little ones CAN drive me crazy.
On the flip side nothing can replace the time I’m investing in my children. This is immeasurable. You have to create and maintain balance. A few things that can drive me crazy are the repetitiveness of the days including the fact that as a SAHM my job is 24/7 365. There is no clear definition of a start and end time and everything sorta can run together. Not to mention, my boss now is a three year old sometimes unreasonable dictator. Oh yes, my threenanger. How about on those days I have or had something I need or wanted to accomplish being completely shot if my “boss” feels otherwise. I can easily spend an hour calming her down after little brother dared to grab her Care Bear; amongst various other minor toddler viewed offenses in a day.
I have to exercise complete understanding and patience for the situation at hand and put out the window your previous intentions for the day, frustrating to say the least especially for a “get-it-done” mama like myself. Be cool, remain calm and as Elsa says, ‘let it go’. How do you out smart the building craziness? Tell me your tactics to regain stability. I have learned that I am the only one who can be hard on myself. When I began my domestic role I remember feeling like “its my job”. I knew only a complete your job with exceptional success mode. I got completely caught up in that and soon i found myself under unnecessary self inflicted pressure. I should be able to do it all..right?
I can tell you it lead to unhealthy feelings – overloaded mama syndrome, making myself feel like I have to do everything lead to me feeling of resentment and unfairness towards by husband. Its so vital for me to have adult conversations and more importantly time away from my family and my house. Its healthy for my kiddos. Time away from me and that vital one on one time with Daddy. It wasn’t until a little over a year ago I thankfully came into a small group of “Mommies”- “my village”. They have become a vital piece in my life. Im grateful for the dynamics between us moms. Its so therapeutic for my success as a woman. A wife. A mom. A friend. The village replenishes me for what happens next. Life is about balance; the good and the bad, the highs and the lows.
