Fellow Apple Mom from Rockland, Jayme Cooper, is a Law of Attraction Life Coach and a fellow mom of three. I am sure we can all relate to her, I know I can as soon as I read her latest post about a time with her children and husband interaction. Read it for yourself then tell me you haven’t been there. Especially when she lists the thoughts in her head…
Previously posted on Parentingwithin.com:
What’s Your Story?I couldn’t believe it was happening. At dinner with my in-laws in Florida, Jeff turned to our waitress and ordered Nathan his first soda. I was furious. We never even discussed it. I was shocked that he did that to me. Nathan was only six—our first child—completely pure. Jeff knew he wasn’t allowed to have soda. I could have killed him.I tried to act composed but failed miserably. Through clenched teeth, I muttered, “He doesn’t drink soda.“ My heart pounded, and my face burned. It took all of my inner strength to not lunge across the table. Jeff looked at me and responded with an authority I hadn’t ever seen in him when it came to our kids. “He’s getting soda, whether you want him to or not.”If I wasn’t actively trying to come across as sane, I would have broken down and cried. The tears were packed tightly in my throat. I felt disregarded, minimized, helpless and betrayed. I didn’t know what to do with myself. There was nothing I could say.I sat there, deflated. I was ashamed that I said anything—especially since it didn’t make a difference. I felt like an idiot.Nathan got his soda and beamed with happiness as he drank from a giant glass. I looked around and noticed that everyone had moved on, except me. I was still seething. It was just one glass of soda as a treat on vacation. I wondered why I was so angry.Then, I had a moment of clarity. It wasn’t about Nathan or the soda. It was my story around Jeff getting him the soda without my consent that made me angry.My “story” went surprisingly deep, considering the situation.My story was: no one cares, I have no control over anything, I can’t trust anyone and—the mother of them all—I’m not good enough.
What in the world did that have to do with soda?
Our stories are with us all the time. They dictate how we see ourselves and everything else. They’re usually inherited from other people or the result of past experience. The irony is that we want to prove them wrong because they’re painful, but we usually cling to proof that they’re right.
We see life through the filter of our stories. Most of the time, they’re triggered by the small things—like Jeff ordering soda for Nathan against my wishes. It’s frustrating and causes a lot of unnecessary pain and aggravation. Here’s what I saw through the filter of my story:
Jeff ordered a soda for my six year-old without my consent and didn’t relent, which meant…
- He didn’t care about me.
- I had no control.
- I couldn’t trust him.
- I wasn’t a good enough mother.
Wow. That’s a lot of stuff to come up because of a soda.
The good news is that suffering always directs us to what we need to work through. In my case, I had work to do around those old stories. Of course, I had a choice. I could have stuffed it down and allowed the same stories to surface whenever they felt like it.
Through my own personal work, I’ve learned to identify my stories.
When we become aware of our stories, we free ourselves. Through awareness, we can identify which ones we know are serving us and which ones really aren’t. By bringing this awareness into our day-to-day lives, it’s possible to release old stories. We have the amazing power to rewrite those that don’t fit. We get to choose. Imagine really taking that in and living it? Imagine being an example of that consciousness for your children? It’s powerful, and it’s life-changing.
I want to offer all mothers a space to reflect on and rewrite the stories that are no longer working for them. I’m offering a 6-week workshop on Rewriting Your Story. You can read the flyer below for more information. I would love to have you join me. I’m really excited about it.
Check out her upcoming Parenting from Within Mother’s Circle for us moms: Starts March 9th from 8-9:30 at The Green Meadow Waldrof School.